Recreating Silicon Valley

mdaian · Joined: 16 Apr 2011 Posts: 1

First of all, I want to start off by saying how exciting your idea seems and that I truly believe this is an innovative project that could have a great impact. I am sure you will attract investors' attention with this idea.

Now, let's work a little bit on the pitch. I have read the letter, and I think it is a pretty good one in the sense that it summarizes in a page the main points of Sybo Robotics. There are a couple of points I would like to mention:

1. Grammar. Even though the document is overall sound grammatically, there are a few places here and there where improvements can be made. Once you craft your final version of the letter, send it to me and I would love to proof read it.

2. Technicality. Remember that Venture Capitalists are not engineers. Even though Silicon Valley VCs might be more technically savvy than others, try to avoid using too many technical words in your description.

Other than that, the letter looks good, I think.

Maxim · Joined: 04 Apr 2011 Posts: 4 Location: Moscow

Hello, Matei!
Thanks for your advice. We are correcting our annotation according to your recommendation now. We will post it soon. Here I add annotation I think that it would be better when all participants of the forum may learn more about our project and help us with advice.
https://rapidshare.com/files/458230998/Sybo_Robotics_Ltd_intro_2.docx

Matthew Pruchniewski · Joined: 05 Apr 2011 Posts: 2

I would not worry about editing the document in expectation of using it for a venture capital pitch. The document is relatively vague for what venture capitalists would expect. I do not know the robotics market very well, nor your product, so it is difficult to gauge what your team's business model is and how strong the model is compared to competitors.

I would encourage learning about Alex Osterwalder's theory of business model generation. This diagram demonstrates the 9 categories of the business model an entrepreneur must develop:
http://shanmai.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/business-model-generation_9canvas.jpg

Let me know if you have more questions. I am still relatively unsure of the current state of your project, your goals, how you plan to sell the product, if you have any customers, etc.